Scheduling Through This
Thank you for being here. My hope in writing this piece is that it may offer you some small insights for your own self-care or for your support of a loved one, a neighbour, a friend—to be used now or perhaps tucked away for later.
About seven years ago, when I was facing chronic acute anxiety, I slowly discovered the importance of routine and scheduling—despite my healthy love of spontaneity, adventure, surprises. Today, especially now, it continues to be part of my regimen in living with an anxiety disorder.
Turning to scheduling was prompted by my sick leave from teaching. For me, being off work due to anxiety was just as torturous as having to go. Open time is rough when your body, brain and spirit are often locked in fight/flight/freeze mode. And all the while feeling the pressure to just ‘rest up and get better’. I imagine that many of us are feeling an even more intense parallel to this—unable to leave our homes while we face so much uncertainty and strong, difficult emotions. And perhaps having thoughts that everyone, except for us, is being productive, creative, inventive.
In the beginning, scheduling felt counter intuitive as a tool for managing anxiety. When struggling with mental health challenges we are told so often to take it easy, to relax, to rest—kinda like telling someone with a broken leg to jog it off. However, this strategy gave me structure during a rough time and let me incrementally measure my hard work and my journey.
When the reality of Covid-19 was first upon us, I completely abandoned creating and following any schedule. Days for me passed in a frantic haze. There was so much to absord (still doing this for sure) and frantic details to sort and panic to care for—my own and others.
A few days ago, it started to dawn on me that it was time to get back to it—back to this important tool that keeps me as healthy as possible. My brain is slowly recalibrating to this (temporary) chapter and I feel ready for a little routine. And so I have jumped back into scheduling.
I know that my scheduling will come and go during this tough time. I’ll need change for the sake of change. I know that sometimes I will lose my motivation, my discipline. I imagine I will need time to just cocoon, to let vague notions of time pass.
And there will be days when just looking at a schedule will be too much—anxiety will be overwhelming at times, I am sure. I will try my best to surrender to this as well. Ebbs and flows.
For me, though, finding my way back to wellness will include turning back to scheduling. It is a tool that helps me to manage, reduce, prevent, and monitor my anxiety.
Some scheduling ideas that may speak to you:
i) Send tomorrow’s schedule to a friend, an acquaintance, me.
Especially when I’m having negative feelings about the next day, leaning into it and breaking it up into parts can help. Also, sending your schedule to someone else can foster accountability.
ii) Make your schedule as basic or as detailed as you feel is right.
In my experience, the more anxious I feel, the more I find details and structure to be important.
Out of bed by … am. Read one page of… Write for … minutes. Make contact with … people. Take … deep breaths.
If I am struggling, I even schedule rest and simple pleasure since an anxious mind often tricks us into thinking we don’t need those things to heal. I also schedule in some unscheduled time.
3:00 to 4:00: Do what you want!
iii) Sometimes on my daily schedule I leave blocks of open time with an accompanying list of ‘Options for Today’. Energy levels, moods, challenges, whims, bursts of creativity and lovely surprises can’t all be scheduled!
iv) Consider creating a daily and a weekly schedule:
I made a basic outline of the upcoming weeks which include calls, small goals, online appointments. I’m also striving to set up some weekly rituals.
Wednesday morning chat with Wanda. Skype with Lee on Fridays at 4:00.
v) Update your schedule as you go—consider logging this time, this chapter we are in.
As the day goes on, I often jot down what I’ve done.
Laundry, napped, kiddo had a bath, called ma.
When I feel bored, lonely, stuck, afraid, I look back at my notes.
I am working hard. I am doing the best I can. And just look at the logging I’ve done!
A brief note on logging: I am using this time to track a lot of things for both practical reasons (when I’ve taken medication) and for joy and productivity (people I’ve had contact with, what my daughter says, the walks that we take, our progress on our unicorn castle).
In adulthood, I have always liked to track the micro details of life—people’s shoes on the streetcar, how a child is negotiating her way around the classroom, what my daughter says in her sleep. This process slows me down, makes me feel connected to what really matters and makes for a good read later on.
vi) Experiment with your scheduling. Change it. Drop it. Pick it up again (or not). Trial and error.
vii) If you are in contact with someone who is really struggling:
Consider offering to help them to make a schedule for the next day or the next hour—I’ve been there. And then following up with them to provide accountability and/or to brainstorm changes that may work better.
viii) If you are with children:
As a teacher, I know that some kids really thrive on a schedule. Every morning before the bell, I’d write ‘Our Daily Schedule’ on the board. To varying degrees, I remember most students referring to it throughout the day—and it certainly kept me on track too (because it was flexible in parts, and non-negotiable in others).
Over the last few days, my daughter and I have been making a daily schedule over breakfast. At the moment, I am writing and she is adding some corresponding illustrations. (I imagine over time her schedule will become more detailed, wordier. And that she will increasingly do the actual writing.)
As the day passes, we cross things out and check things off and move things around. Now when she asks 'What’s next?', there is an answer for her and less pressure on me. There is often an empty section on our schedule as well. Time for mama to nap or regroup if needed and time for My Little Pony on Youtube.
There is no attempt to mimic a classroom schedule. I am by no means putting any pressure on her or on myself to cover curriculum expectations. We are both processing major changes and stress. Sure, as a teacher, I recognize my advantage in being able to ‘teach’ my kiddo simply due to my professional background. But such is not our focus.
Her schedule, for now, includes the anchors of her day: make bed, braid hair, laundry, walk, draw, unicorn castle making, bookies, puzzle doing, coffee drinking and chocolate eating. And don’t forget, The Great British Sewing Bee—one of the few shows we agree on.
I would love to hear what works for you. If you’re already at it, how do you organize your scheduling? Do you have any ideas and tips to add? Questions? Need more details? Please reach out here.