Getting Past "Fine": Questions to Ask Our Kids About School

Dearest Parents,

We’ve all asked the same question and gotten the same answer from our kids. 

—How was school?

—Fine. 

I’ve learned my odds of getting more than one word improve when I get as specific as possible and ask about the small stuff. 

But what is the small stuff? It’s harder than ever to know what to ask our kids. We have so very little to refer to since, as parents, we rarely go into schools these days (more on this in a later piece).

As a former TDSB classroom teacher, let me offer you a few prompting questions to get you past “Fine” and into conversations that inform us about the day-to-day lives of our kids. 

Remember that right after school might not be the best time to get the details. Our kids can be tired and hungry and need to unwind. I get much longer answers from my kiddo when we’re cozied up before bedtime. 

Today’s questions focus on the classroom setting. More questions coming soon.

What’s the first thing you do when you come into the classroom in the morning?

How does your teacher take attendance? Do kids help?

How does your teacher get everyone’s attention when they need to speak to the whole class?

Are there classroom jobs? If yes, how do you decide who gets to do what job? What’s your (least) favourite job? 

Where do you sit? Did you get to choose? Who sits next to you? Do you sit at a desk or a table? 

Where do you keep your school supplies and notebooks? Where are the markers?

What happens when you need to sharpen your pencil? 

What is on the walls of your classroom?

What do you do if you are thirsty? 

What do you do when you finish your work? If you don’t finish?

What’s one thing you’d like to bring home to show me? (Can you bring home your math workbook to show me your hard work?)

What happens when you have to use the washroom? Do you have to ask? Sign out? Go with a partner? How are the washrooms at school? A little scary? What if you have to go during recess? 

Where are your hooks? Do you use the same one every day? When can you go to your hook (or locker)?

What’s on your teacher’s desk? Do they sit at it a lot? Can you use items that are on their desk? Is it messy or tidy? 

Does your teacher drink coffee? Eat snacks?

What is always breaking down in class? What is the class always running out of?

How noisy is it in class? When is it the quietest? 

Does your teacher use the whiteboard or the screen more? Do you watch videos in class?

How does your class line up? Is there a line leader? Who holds the doors?

Is there a calendar in your class? What’s on it? 

What do you do when it’s someone’s birthday? 

What’s missing in your class? What would you add if you were the teacher?

During reading time, can you choose a spot to read? Where are the books? Do you get to decide what to read? Do you use reading logs? Can you read with a friend? Do you have to whisper?

What do you do during free time? What are the choices? Do you always pick the same thing? Do you prefer to do activities on your own? With a partner? A group?

Does your teacher have children? Pets?

Are there plants in your classroom? Do you want to bring one? 

Would you like to draw a picture/make a card for your teacher?

What do you wish your teacher understood (about you)?

These are not easy times for parents of school-aged children. So many of us are struggling to understand how to best support our children and their teachers as we all recover from the last three years. Yet, it can feel like we are the only ones in this struggle. (You’re not, I promise.) 

As an educator and anxiety coach, I support kids and parents in rekindling a collective love of learning and joyful curiosity as we move through these stressful times together.

More Questions To Ask Your Kids coming soon. Workshops too.