Brain Fog: My Anxiety's BFF
Brain fog seems to be best friends with my anxiety.
It often creeps in even before anxiety shows up. They party together and, though anxiety often leaves quite soon, brain fog can’t seem to take a hint and is always the last to go.
When the stakes are low and I can fully surrender to this state, it can be quite funny. Try paying for the eggs and milk with a library card. You’ll get at least a smile.
It can be exhausting. For example, having to write a list of required steps before I can leave my apartment and then checking them off as I go (get dressed, eat, find keys, make bed, make lunch, pack lunch, etc, etc.).
It can also be terrifying—not being able to recall my students’ names.
And the list goes on. Here’s what it can look like for me:
Having to stop walking, to place hands on temples and really concentrate to remember what day it is
Doing ONE thing at a time—listening to the radio or chopping carrots or having a conversation
Having to lie when asked for directions in my own neighbourhood, ‘I’m not from around here,’ because I can’t process the question, let alone the answer in a reasonable amount of time
Skipping a shower because there are too many steps involved
Having three cartons of milk open in the fridge
Not having any screens left! They’ve all been busted in order to crawl through the window when I can’t find my keys. My daughter gets excited because she is now old enough to take the lead in this operation. She goes into superhero mode, as I lift her up to climb through. She is now tall enough to unlock our door from the inside to let me in, saving the day!
Taking forever to decide what to order at the coffee shop, despite my order ALWAYS being an Americano.
Choosing the same outfit again (and again) because it’s too much cognitive effort to pick out a new one
Realizing at Broadview station that I was meant to get off at St. George
Repeatedly mixing up my words, ‘Please hang up your boots.’
Writing a blog post about brain fog and not understanding why it is taking so much mental energy
What does it look like for you?