Making a List Now for Later
“Mama, I have that scary feeling again.” My eight-year-old is flushed and sweaty in her saber tooth tiger pyjamas. “Mama, can you get the nightmare list?”
Tucked in the top drawer of the nightstand, between a small book of mazes and a deck of cards, is her list for nightmare prevention. After the last cluster of before-bedtime scary feelings, she had dictated to me the things that helped her to feel better so that we wouldn’t forget the next time.
Tell mama or dada or friends or the animals. Talk about it and then stand up and shake it off.
Read cute and funny stories that I already know.
Like:
Dogman
Chi’s Sweet Adventures
Science Comics Cats
Play music and dance.
Good songs to dance to:
Summertime, Janis Joplin’s version
Puff the Magic Dragon by Peter, Paul and Mary
Nice For What by Drake
4. Spray lavender on pillows, on pajamas and in the air.
Tonight we cover one and four together. My kiddo decides three isn’t necessary. I leave her reading from a stack of comforting books. The list goes back in the drawer for next time.
Moments of struggle strip our ability to remember our tools when we need them the most. Anxiety and nightmares are different but the strategy—writing down what we need—is the same. When Simone is scared, she forgets what soothes her. When I am in anxiety, I forget that roaming the aisles of the Chinese grocery store relaxes me, that 90’s hip hop always gets me moving, and that calling my aunt to chat about recipes is soothing.
What’s on your list?